Church of the Highlands--Jesus totally Rocks!

I chose to attend a service at Church of the Highlands despite all of the warnings from you non-denominational haters. My desire to check it out stemmed partially from the controversy over the legitamacy of this Church, and partially from the fact that a very dear friend of mine, who was raised Catholic like myself and has never really been religious, has found this place and actually enjoys going to Church. Here are a few of my preconceived notions prior to entering the doors of Six Flags Over Jesus.

1.Must be a cult. I mean, seriously, religious services aren’t meant to make you feel good about yourself or be fun, are they? Why does everyone I know who goes there love it? They must be brainwashed.

2.It could actually be interesting. I mean, I have some really good friends who are somewhat normal who go there and enjoy it.

3.Definitely has to be a cult. Who would sit in traffic for that long just to go to church?

So I figured I would go try it out for myself, accompanied by my fellow cynic and long-time heathen friend, Hoolie.

First Impression: As we walk in the doors of the giant commune, we are greeted by ushers with smiles on their faces and pass the nursery for the kids, which by the way has a pretty sweet set up of flat screen TVs and brightly painted walls. The smell of fresh brewed coffee fills the air and normal looking people grab a cup and make their way towards the main hall. So far, no funny robes or koolaid. Hoolie and I enter what seems like a civic center and grab some seats---front and center. If I am going to experience this I want to be up close and personal.

The service begins with some music to get the crowd excited. Now, we aren’t talking about a choir and piano and a sing-song hymn from the misalette…we are talking a full out rock band with multiple electric guitars, a keyboard, singers, drums and the lyrics up on the two most ginormous flat screen TVs I have ever seen. Great acoustic rhythm and rhymes fill the air and I can't help but sing along. As the catchy tunes continue I find myself briefly lapsing into the movie "Saved" starring Mandy Moore-- which, by the way, is the best movie she made. Wait, I think she only made two... As I zone back in--no wait, A Walk to Remember is totally Mandy's best movie, her character dies!--the music portion ends and we all welcome Pastor Chris to share his message of the day.

Sermon in nutshell: We don't know all the answers to why things happen the way they do, but that's okay because God does and when we get to heaven, everything will make sense then. (Listen guys, She knows what She's doing, ok?) The message of "Be Assured" is one that definitely appeals to the masses, for it is simple and uplifting for anyone. I, however, am not just anyone, as we all know.

I may be a snob, but, aren't you supposed to question? We wouldn't have advanced so far to where we are today if it weren't for all of the wonderful philosophers and scientists out there who initially questioned everything and sought out more than just what was in front of them. While the message delivered by Pastor Chris came off as a bit surface-level, I realize that this is ok. Not everyone goes to church to challenge their sinful selves for a chance at Redemption. Some people actually enjoy that little boost of a good feeling. Must be that damn Jesuit education that spoiled me on the beauty of intellect and trying to explain everything... Even more so, I realize that this is my generalization of a whole batch of non-denomers based on one sermon. To responsibly critique these Jesus freaks, one has to attend at least twice.

Overall, Hoolie and I left with a smile on our faces, despite the fact that we were stuck in traffic for a good 15 minutes--still sitting in our parking space. One thing that made me wonder: Do Yankee pastors differ in their approach to preaching to their congregation? I just know you can't find that good ole southern charm in Jersey.

The Lenten Resolution: A Challenge to Religion, a Chance to be Open-minded

I begin with a disclaimer: The views represented by this piece are not intended to offend or downplay the importance of religious practice of any individuals. The use of ridicule and sarcasm are put forth only to showcase my impeccable wit, with which God has blessed me ever so abundantly.

Born and raised in an ideal Catholic family setting, even named after a saint and put through Catholic education from Kindergarten to College, I was destined to either A: Marry a good churchgoing catholic boy and breed cute Catholic babies to continue the cycle or B: Become a Nun. I am currently 25 years old and single and nowhere near nunhood.

My parents have always had the best intentions for my soul, over the years having repeatedly emphasized the importance of religion and exclusively practicing the Catholic faith in day-to-day living. I can pretty much play out the Sunday Mass in my head from start to finish and yes, I know the significance of the Eucharist. There is a good 11 x 15 of Jesus as you walk in the front door to my parents’ house, not to mention at least 3 statues of the Virgin Mary and even Jesus in preemie (little nativity baby Jesus) to pubescent (el Divino Niño) to early adulthood forms. My car is blessed with Holy water, specifically encased in a spray bottle to spread the Holiness quickly and thoroughly at any given moment, and I have various relics and rosaries housed in purses, pockets, and suitcases for spiritual protection on-the-go. Did I tell you my mother works for the one Catholic TV network? If there were any initial questions or concerns about the severity of my religious upbringing, I hope I have cleared things up for you. My goal however, is not to babble about the Catholic faith. Let’s get back to the point…

I recently decided that Catholicism wasn’t really doing much for me or my “soul”. I put that term in quotations because Karolina and Alex question whether or not I actually have one. Ok, Karo questions, Alex is pretty sure I don’t. To my parents’ dismay, I decided to stop attending mass, seeing as how I would only be lying to myself and others by continuing through the motions on yet another Sunday morning. Don’t get me wrong, church is great; I just want it to actually mean something if I am going to make a habit out of it. As the weeks have gone by, I have chosen to fill my Sundays with other activities—mostly spending time outdoors and a few naps here and there. No lightning bolt yet.

And then comes Lent. Typically, I would give up cake (I love cake) or something else that I really enjoy (ice cream is great too) as a sacrifice to prepare myself for Easter; but as we know, I am now a heathen. So instead, this year I am changing things up a bit. For my Lenten resolution, I am trying a different form of worship/spiritual enlightenment each Sunday in an effort to be more open-minded about religion. I have decided to share my experiences in hopes that you readers will open your minds as well, and ultimately leave your faith and become followers of the Church of T. Sinners welcome. Tithes optional. Or you can just buy me lunch and I will forgive you. PS, I really like sushi.

Last Sunday was the first official Sunday of Lent, but I will keep my summary of that one brief and just mention my attendance to yoga for mental clarity and stretching. My account of Church of the Highlands is much more interesting anyways…